Dating an erg

O ergonomic rowing machine — erg —

how you inspire me to connect with my spirit,

feel the pulses of my heart, and the sweat that

gleams off my skin whenever we hang out.

I never thought I'd date an inanimate object, no less tell the world

about it, but hear me out:

if you ain't reaching your VO2 max thrice weekly

you're genuinely missing out.

You're both an objective and a subjective partner...

and sometimes I feel like Plankton with Karen The Computer.

When we're together, it's us against the world.

We've only known each other half a year, but our relationship's progressed

quite a tad.

I feel the flow of your wheel now just like you give me smooth

force-distribution curves.

We usually play at 130 drag factor and it's satisfying getting

more and more in the honey zone as we work out...

It's just a matter of going sub 6 mins on a 2k now.

To many more strokes and happy endings...

Just don't tell the rowing boats.